Old 05-11-2010, 01:32 PM
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,473
Default stimulus

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q.. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will
go to China or Sri Lanka .

If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the

If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or
China .

If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala ..

If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .

If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go
to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, ,or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )


Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
sale and drink beer all day !

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
THERATTLER is offline  
Old 05-11-2010, 01:50 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: orland pk il
Posts: 2,429

Sounds like more fun than a trip to the walmart. you forgot one part!! when the prostitute gives you V.D. the job to cure you would go to an american doctor that sends your specimins to an american lab for testing , an american nurse to see you before the doctor & a girl in the office to bill your insurance co to have claim processed by an american claims adjuster. WHO SAYS WE CANT DO BUISNESS IN THE USA!! :wink:
MEMRACING62 is offline  
Old 05-11-2010, 02:28 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Wi
Posts: 522

I think i will spend 80% of my stimulus money on beer and prostitutes and just waste the rest...........
ajk is offline  
Old 05-11-2010, 02:51 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: EastWenatchee,WA
Posts: 887

I'll buy some more hot rod parts
spib is offline  

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