Tickets

Old 09-28-2009, 04:47 PM
  #1  
fla1976
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These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers.


The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

16 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just
went through.'

15 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch after you wear them a while.'

14 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document.'

13 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

12 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

11 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'

10 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

9 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket. '

8 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

7 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey
poop.'

6 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven.'

5 'In God We Trust, all others we run through NCIC.'

4 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'

3 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'

2 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of
yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'

AND THE WINNER IS....

1 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? Okay ma'am, you're
right, we don't. Sign here.'
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Old 09-28-2009, 05:02 PM
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DirkaDirka
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I think #15, 11, & 7 or the best ones. :lol: :lol: :lol: :twisted:

On another note....

The wifey got pulled over one day by a state trooper and she made a comment about cops and donuts. The trooper cam eback with sorry we are not allowed to eat donuts no more. We had to change to bagels. :shock: :shock:
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Old 09-28-2009, 06:28 PM
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deward
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I'm an ex -cop and I once stopped a guy for 30 over in a school zone. First words out of his mouth were, "I've haven't had a ticket in over 20 years". I just looked at him and said,"Tomorrow morning you won't be able to say that sir", and preceded to write him up.
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Old 09-29-2009, 04:19 AM
  #4  
CamBirdRacing
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Originally Posted by deward
I'm an ex -cop and I once stopped a guy for 30 over in a school zone. First words out of his mouth were, "I've haven't had a ticket in over 20 years". I just looked at him and said,"Tomorrow morning you won't be able to say that sir", and preceded to write him up.

30 over in a school zone? WTF was this guys thinking?
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Old 09-29-2009, 04:53 AM
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Dahlton
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# 12 absolute winner!!
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Old 09-29-2009, 05:15 AM
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Default Re: Cops Comments

Originally Posted by CamBirdRacing
Originally Posted by deward
I'm an ex -cop and I once stopped a guy for 30 over in a school zone. First words out of his mouth were, "I've haven't had a ticket in over 20 years". I just looked at him and said,"Tomorrow morning you won't be able to say that sir", and preceded to write him up.

30 over in a school zone? WTF was this guys thinking?
X2
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Old 09-29-2009, 03:45 PM
  #7  
deward
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That's exactly why he got the ticket, 30 over in a school zone. He came to court with a Lawyer that probably cost him 500 bucks, and missed a days work. He was found guilty and paid a small fine ($210). He gave me a smirk on his way out of court as if he got one over on me. Hell! I didn't pay a Lawyer to be there and I didn't lose a days work. In fact I was on O.T. to be in court.
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Old 09-29-2009, 05:10 PM
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:shock: :roll: :roll: :roll: some people's children....probably an IQ of his age minus 40....
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Old 10-02-2009, 09:27 AM
  #9  
bluegrassjh
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Originally Posted by DirkaDirka
I think #15, 11, & 7 or the best ones. :lol: :lol: :lol: :twisted:

On another note....

The wifey got pulled over one day by a state trooper and she made a comment about cops and donuts. The trooper cam eback with sorry we are not allowed to eat donuts no more. We had to change to bagels. :shock: :shock:
LMAO, bet she didn't see that comin!
My bro-in law is a deputy sheriff in Florida. I'm thinkin Crispy Kreme gift certificates for Christmas. Some drunk guy peed in his cruiser the other night, and they (Sheriffs Dept) told him he had to clean it up...maybe that'll cheer him up. :twisted: :lol: :twisted:
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Old 10-05-2009, 07:21 AM
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In the 80's I was a Deputy Sheriff . I would love it when I would take a drunk in around 2 or 3 in the morning and the first thing they would say is , call the sheriff , he is a friend of mine , I would pick up the phone and dial the number for them and then hand them the phone , I could hear the sheriff cussing on the other end for waking him up ,needless to say , they all spent the night ... :lol:
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