More funny....

Old 02-10-2009, 07:51 AM
  #1  
TheYellaBrick
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
Thread Starter
 
TheYellaBrick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Emmett, Idaho
Posts: 7,334
Default More funny....

Subject: A JOKE WITHOUT BAD WORDS

It is hard to find a joke without a dirty word or two in it. Here is one with none:

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch.
It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."
TheYellaBrick is offline  
Old 02-10-2009, 07:59 AM
  #2  
TheYellaBrick
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
Thread Starter
 
TheYellaBrick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Emmett, Idaho
Posts: 7,334
Default

UPS..... Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. after every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS Pilots (marked with a P) and the Solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.


P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


P: Something loose in cockpit

S: Something tightened in cockpit


P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.


P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.


P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.


P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.


P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.


P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.


P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.


P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.


P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.


And the best one for last


P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

TheYellaBrick is offline  
Old 02-10-2009, 06:59 PM
  #3  
chrisr
Senior Member
MASTER BUILDER
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Elm Mott, Texas
Posts: 197
Default

I work for a company called Ram Aircraft so I have seen this before but it is still funny. (I don't work on the planes though, I run the engines on a dyno)
chrisr is offline  
Old 02-12-2009, 03:30 AM
  #4  
outlaw256
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: falkville al
Posts: 1,766
Default

thanks dd i really needed to laugh this morning and boy did i.
outlaw256 is offline  
Old 02-16-2009, 09:34 AM
  #5  
THERATTLER
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
 
THERATTLER's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: LICKSKILLET , MISSISSIPPI
Posts: 1,474
Default

loved the first one , sent it to some friends
THERATTLER is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Contact Us Archive Advertising Cookie Policy Privacy Statement Terms of Service