ULTIMATE POWER

Old 07-21-2007, 07:26 AM
  #1  
chevguy65
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Default ULTIMATE POWER

ULTIMATE POWER

I borrowed my wife's Geo Metro last night. One liter of raw power, 3
cylinders of asphalt-tearing terror on thirteen-inch rims. It's stock,
alright, nothing done to it, but it pushes the barely 2000 pounds of metro
around with AUTHORITY. I'm always catching mopeds and 18-wheelers by
surprise...

I was headed back from Baskin Robbins with my manly triple-latte cappuccino
blast ("No Cinnamon, ma'am, I take it BLACK"), when I stopped at a
streetlight. As the Metro throbbed its throaty idle around me, I sipped my
bold beverage and wiped the white froth my stiff upper lip. I was minding
my own business, but then I heard a rev from the next lane.

I turned, made eye contact, then let my eyes trace over the competition.
Ford Festiva -- a late model, could be trouble. Low profile tires, curb
feelers, and schoolbus-yellow paint. Yep, a hot rod, for sure.

The howl of his motor snapped my reverie, and I looked back into the
driver's eyes, nodded, then blipped my own throttle. As I tugged on my
driving gloves and slipped on my sunglasses (gotta look cool to be fast,
and I am *damn* cool, hence...), the night was split with the sound of
seven screaming cylinders...

Then the light turned... I almost had him out of the hole, my three
pounding cylinders thrusting me at least a millimeter back into my seat, as
smoke pouring from my front right tire... my unlimited slip differential
was letting me down! I saw in the corner of my eyes, a yellow snout
gaining, and I heard the roar of his four cylinders. He slung by me, right
front wheel juddering against the pavement, and he flashed me a smile as
his .7 extra liters of motor stretched its legs. I kept my foot gamely in
it, though, waiting for the CHECK ENGINE light to blink on in the one-gauge
(no tachometer here!) instrument panel. I saw a glimpse of chrome under his
bumper, and knew the ugly truth... He was running a custom exhaust --
probably a 2-into-1 dual exhaust ... maybe event cutouts! Damn his hot-rod
soul! The old lady passing us on the crosswalk cast a dirty look in our
boy-racer direction...

Yet still I persisted, with my three pumping pistons singing a heady
high-pitched song, wound fully out. Though only a few handfuls of seconds
had passed, we were nearing the crosswalk at the other side of the
intersection, and I heard the note of his engine change as he made his
shift to second, and I saw his grin in his rearview mirror fade as he
missed the shift! I rocketed by, shifting, and nursed the clutch gently in
to keep from bogging, keeping my motor spinning hot and pulling me ahead,
now trailing a cloud of stinking clutch smoke. Not ready to give up so
easily, he left his foot in it, revving, and I heard one wheel *almost*
chirp as he finally found second and dropped the clutch. We careened over
the crosswalk, now going at least 15 miles per hour. A bicyclist passed us,
but intent on the race as we were, neither of us batted an eye.

He pulled slowly abreast of me, and neck and neck, we made the shift to
third, the scream of motors deafening all pedestrians within a five foot
circle. He nosed ahead as we passed 30 miles an hour, then eased in front
of me, taunting, as we shifted into fourth. I was staring up the dual 6"
chrome tips of his exhaust, snarling, my cappuccino forgotten, as he lifted
a little to take the next corner.

I saw my opportunity, and counting on the innate agility of my trusty
steed, I pulled wide into the number two lane and kept my foot buried in
carpet. Slowly, I inched around him, feeling my Metro roll slowly to the
left as I came abreast in the midst of this gradual sweeping turn. I felt
the Geo ease onto its suspension stops, and felt the right rear wheel
slowly leave the ground - no matter, though, because my drive wheels, up
front, were pulling me through the corner, and around the Festiva ... The
Ford driver beat his wheel in rage as my wife's car eased past him on the
outside, my P165/54R13's screaming in protest, as we raced to the next
light. We coasted down, neck-and neck, to the red light. I tightened my
driving gloves, ready for another round, when this WIMP in the next car
meekly flipped his turn signal and made a right. Chevy (Suzuki) superiority
reigns!!!

I drove off sipping my masculine drink, awash in my sheer virility, looking
for other unwitting targets.... Perhaps a Yugo, or maybe even a Volkswagon
Van!
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Old 07-21-2007, 09:03 AM
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lively
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O H THE ABSOLUTE RUSH FROM THAT MUCH POWER!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Old 07-21-2007, 10:13 AM
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Murff
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F*****G street racers!!!
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Old 07-21-2007, 10:36 AM
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spib
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carl thats some funny shit right there, I had a geo for the last couple of yrs, which makes it even funnier, I waited untill gas was $3.00 a gallon and sold it, now I drive a v8 ass backwards mark for sure, thanks carl funny as hell, and yes I used to have a festiva too, it would be a good grudge race, all motor, heads up , put it on pinks 1 hr show LOL!!!!
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Old 07-21-2007, 04:12 PM
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ken0069
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That is a funny story but all jokes aside, I own one of those cars. It's a 91 Geo Metro w/3 clyinder and a 5 speed. To be honest, it's the best damn car I ever owned! Right now it's got 141,812 miles on it and I'll bet I haven't spent $1,000 in repairs since I bought it back in 1994 from the original owner with 34,000 miles on it. Back then it would get 47MPG running 70 MPH to and from my work, which was a 96 mile round trip. That thing paid for itself in fuel mileage alone. I drove it running the speed limit for one full tank and got 52MPG! Try that with any of the compact cars today! The speedometer only has 85MPH on it but I've had mine to the equivilent of 100MPH! It was scary as hell too! :wink:

Anywho, 13 years later it will still get 42MPG running back and forth to town and has just as much power now as it did in 94. I run Mobile 1 in it and change the oil every 6k miles whether it needs it not. It still has the original clutch in it, original ball joints, CV joints, tie rod ends, etc and the original rear brake shoes. The front brakes were changed at 98,000 because the rotors got out and it had a shimmy in the steering wheel when you hit the brakes.

Bottom line is I'd buy a brand new one if they still made'em! I'll keep mine until the wheels drop off! Oh, and the last set of tires I bought were $125! :wink:

Good cars, that's why they quit making them!
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Old 07-22-2007, 04:31 AM
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bignastygs
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Why don't you bring your 3 cylinder street rocket to Pa and I'll have to line you up with the baddest assed 1990 Ford Escort LX I run? It has such great creature comforts like an oil soaked 1.9l(so tires can break loose) a whopping 4 blade fan(to give more pulling power) and a set of 165/14's on hubcap wheels. I tell my wife I am a severe "chick magnet" while driving this car wearing my lime green T shirts and stylish safety sunglasses to work. Like you...I too look damn good while driving.I bought Eugene the Escort for a measley $1200 bucks and since last year when I bought it,I saved 10,000 miles on my other cars. It runs good pulling between 35-37 mpg at 70 mph and all I have done to it is add oil between oil changes(using the used oil from my truck and Jeep :mrgreen: )and tune it up once. It has 185,000 miles on it and leaks like a detroit diesel,but gets me around. I taught my daughter how to drive on this POS but it serves its purpose.


I laughed alot at your story and shared it with some friends and got the same laughter as well.You need to write a book or something. You are definitely wasting your talents... :mrgreen:
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Old 07-22-2007, 05:55 AM
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ken0069
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1.9L engine? The Geo is only 993cc! It's not even a full 1L. You wouldn't mind spotting him a couple of car lengths would ya, since you got twice the engine? :wink:
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Old 07-22-2007, 05:59 AM
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chevguy65
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Originally Posted by ken0069
1.9L engine? The Geo is only 993cc! It's not even a full 1L. You wouldn't mind spotting him a couple of car lengths would ya, since you got twice the engine? :wink:

LOL...btw Ken, I love the Camaro...it looks bad fast!!!! 8)
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Old 07-22-2007, 08:13 AM
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signsbyesa
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you forgot to mention the pedestrian who was walking on the sidewalk
at a fast pace went rigtht by your cars. i bet in reality
those cars were as slow as a fart. dam 3 & 4 banger racers,
they put a chrome muffler and they think its a pro-streeter:lol:
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Old 07-22-2007, 08:15 AM
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chevguy65
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Originally Posted by signsbyesa
you forgot to mention the pedestrian who was walking on the sidewalk
at a fast pace went rigtht by your cars. i bet in reality
those cars were as slow as a fart. dam 3 & 4 banger racers,
they put a chrome muffler and they think its a pro-streeter:lol:
Don't forget my offset rims and wide tires so it hooks better.
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