Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: More funny....

  1. #1
    Senior Member RACING JUNKIE TheYellaBrick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Emmett, Idaho
    Posts
    7,334

    More funny....

    Subject: A JOKE WITHOUT BAD WORDS

    It is hard to find a joke without a dirty word or two in it. Here is one with none:

    Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch.
    It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."
    TRUTH is HATE
    to those who
    HATE TRUTH

    God Bless our folks in uniform
    "We the People, have your backs"
    http://www.racingjunk.com/profile/279898

  2. #2
    Senior Member RACING JUNKIE TheYellaBrick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Emmett, Idaho
    Posts
    7,334
    UPS..... Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. after every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS Pilots (marked with a P) and the Solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.


    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.


    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


    P: Something loose in cockpit

    S: Something tightened in cockpit


    P: Dead bugs on windshield.

    S: Live bugs on back-order.


    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent

    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

    S: Evidence removed.


    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

    S: DME volume set to more believable level.


    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

    S: That's what friction locks are for.


    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.


    P: Suspected crack in windshield.

    S: Suspect you're right.


    P: Number 3 engine missing.

    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


    P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

    S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.


    P: Target radar hums.

    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.


    P: Mouse in cockpit.

    S: Cat installed.


    And the best one for last


    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

    S: Took hammer away from midget.

    TRUTH is HATE
    to those who
    HATE TRUTH

    God Bless our folks in uniform
    "We the People, have your backs"
    http://www.racingjunk.com/profile/279898

  3. #3
    Senior Member MASTER BUILDER
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Elm Mott, Texas
    Posts
    197
    I work for a company called Ram Aircraft so I have seen this before but it is still funny. (I don't work on the planes though, I run the engines on a dyno)

  4. #4
    Senior Member RACING JUNKIE
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    falkville al
    Posts
    1,766
    thanks dd i really needed to laugh this morning and boy did i.

  5. #5
    Senior Member RACING JUNKIE THERATTLER's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    LICKSKILLET , MISSISSIPPI
    Posts
    1,474
    loved the first one , sent it to some friends
    ***IN GOD WE TRUST***GOD BLESS AMERICA******


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Copyright © 2005-2016 RacingJunk.com All Rights Reserved.

Designated trademarks and brands are the property of their respective owners. Use of this Web site constitutes acceptance of the RacingJunk.com
Terms of Use, Classifieds Disclaimer, Privacy Policy, and Cookie Policy