A Fart Story

Old 02-04-2009, 12:53 PM
  #1  
nofear57
Senior Member
EXPERT BUILDER
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: potash country
Posts: 262
Default A Fart Story

Ok....mid off season....sitting back,lounging,feet up remote in hand and getting fat...thinking about the race season coming up and sipping my favorite beverage and.....rrrrippppp......."Ahh boy that felt good"....but the wife said....you....(well it wasn't nice) :lol:
That reminded me of an e-mail that went around


A fart it is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.
A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud
A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song....
A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent , and deadly.
A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.
But that farts are all bad,Is simply not true-
We must never forget....
Old farts,like you!
nofear57 is offline  
Old 02-04-2009, 03:19 PM
  #2  
signsbyesa
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: san antonio, texas
Posts: 1,233
Default

nofear, i love it, love it, love it, i like the ones that sing a song,
or when in a crowed room the ones that break the ice and linger
for a while to make sure all know a fart was blown, ha ha ha
tooooot toooooot sing a song :lol: :wink:
are when someone ask your opinion on something, blow one :wink:
signsbyesa is offline  
Old 02-04-2009, 03:37 PM
  #3  
Scooterz
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: EUGENE,OR.
Posts: 3,391
Default

Nofear: that poem was a beautiful thing... I can appreciate a guy who settles down in his favorite chair & lets out a good ol' ripper... even around the family... and has a sence of pride only a man can understand.

I like to describe farts like motors... some are hot & lumpy; choppy in fact... having a measurement of duration too... like a cam. A good blow out is like having healthy compression... do you rate compression ratios for you farts too?? Some are like a 2 strokes... "small & zippy" like a YZ80. Some however with good compression are like the difference between a BB or SB... or a thumper 4 stroke fart. The pungent oder can also be realted to "rich" or "lean" or pump gas or race fuel... I could go on & on. Anyways, thanks for sharing one of my favorite past times brutha. Scooter
Scooterz is offline  
Old 02-06-2009, 03:25 AM
  #4  
outlaw256
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: falkville al
Posts: 1,764
Default

i was in a kroger checkout line standing in front of my cart when i felt the urge, i let go with a silent but lethal one when i was sure everyone ther got the powerful aroma, i lyelled out "damn debbie couldnt you wait" AND WALKED OUTSIDE TO SMOKE. my wife was standing behind the cart and she had to stay in line. by the way my wifes name is debbie.
outlaw256 is offline  
Old 02-06-2009, 08:56 AM
  #5  
signsbyesa
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: san antonio, texas
Posts: 1,233
Default

good recovery outlaw, next time have her pull your finger
my grand kids always fall for that one, my grandson told his teacher
that he can make me fart by pulling my finger every time, when
i picked him up at school his friends wanted to pull my finger ha ha ha
signsbyesa is offline  
Old 02-06-2009, 02:49 PM
  #6  
TheYellaBrick
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
 
TheYellaBrick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Emmett, Idaho
Posts: 7,334
Default

"Clear on the right....clear on the left...the farting line is clear...FART AT WILL "
TheYellaBrick is offline  
Old 02-16-2009, 08:41 AM
  #7  
THERATTLER
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
 
THERATTLER's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: LICKSKILLET , MISSISSIPPI
Posts: 1,466
Default

My wife does that to me , she drops one and looks at me and walks off, I just fan my ass :lol: :lol:
THERATTLER is offline  
Old 02-19-2009, 07:11 PM
  #8  
signsbyesa
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: san antonio, texas
Posts: 1,233
Default

~~~~~~~~~awwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, thats my fart story
and im sticking to it :wink: pooooooooooot
signsbyesa is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -