scooter, you and i have alot in common,but you already knew that.long before this post i read between the lines.i have a good education that i did not use. a beautiful little wife who i just found out how much i love not long, and two kids who still love me, now 2 grandkids who love the ol man.i mentioned my past to get to the present.the feared drug test.with my history, narcotics are a no no.BUT without them the pain is to great.with them im so-called normal.i dont feel any effects from the dosages i take, but a normal man would od.that is fact.straight from the dr. mouth.i try do do everything i did before the wreck. my mind says i can ,my body says NO you cant.even with the brain damage, i still can build cars, bikes whatever.but not without the drugs. they keep the pain at bay(well somewhat)what i was trying to say was should i not be allowed to particapate in racing because of the drugs in my system, even tho i dont feel any effect from them.should my buddy be in rehab to keep his job because he had booze in his system more than 3 times in 2 months.how many of us had a few beers in the shop on fri.nite and went racin on sat.drug tests do not tell the whole story.i guess thats what im trying to say.(its the brain damage lol).BUT if its zero then i do believe you should test zero if you dont have a script or its illegal. missdd, i know exactly how you felt.when i was laying in a hospital bed in my own home, i reached in a drawer next to my bed pulled out a 357 and i pulled the trigger.someone had emptied the damn gun.i have pleny more but i couldnt get out of bed to get at them. i wanted to die so bad.i hurt so bad and death was so easy.i was mad at everyone who saved my life.hell i died twice before they got me stabilized. why didnt they just let me go. no pain. no bein crippled up, no nothing.i wanted to die until scooter kinda came into my life.and he didnt even know it. id read what he wrote and i wanted what he had. some kind of peace, something to believe in.ive been a outlaw biker almost my whole life and now i needed god here to help me and hes done so much to wake me up but i just didnt want him. boy how things have changed. go fiqure.scooter got intouch with me just a short time ago, out of the blue and he saved my life.and he doesnt even realize how much he helped me.thanks to all of you. youll never know how much you all mean to me.and i never have even met the first one. thanks hotrod1024 for callin me on the weekends. damn, i must be stoned lol