BEST JOKE YOU GOT...CLEAN.
 

Two roofers were up on a barn doin some repairs. When they stopped to take a break theey noticed that their ladder had fallen. Being in the middle of nowhere they knew they couldn't wait for help...it could be hours, it could be days. So they walked to each end of the roof to look for a way down. One guy turns to say there's no way down and his friend is gone. A minute later he comes strolling around the corner of the barn. "How'd you get down there?" he says. He replies "I jumped from this end". The man walks to the edge and looks down only to see a HUGE pile of horse crap, and replies "It looks deep". The guy on the ground says "Don't be scared...it's only ankle deep". So the guy jumps...splat-all the way up to his neck. "I thought you said it was only ankle deep?!?" "It was..I jumped head first."


Used to be a roofer for almost 10 yrs...this ones a oldy.

fisherman spends the day at the lake under a tree fishing, takes a
sip of his wiskey bottle and the fish take the last of his bait, man
looks around and noticed a frog just right for bait, reached over and
just as he was going to grap it a snake snatched it up in his mouth.
the man then pours a little wiskey next to the snake which drops the
frog and licks the wiskey up, the man graps the frog and cuts it up
for bait, after a while of fishing the man feels a tug on his sleeve
and looks down and its the snake, with another frog in its mouth :wink:

two white horses fell in the mud,,, :lol: :lol: oh wait thats a dirty joke :oops: :oops: :oops: :lol: :lol: :lol:

dirty minds...
 

A little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school one day, when a
big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her.

After following along for a while, turns to her and asks, "Hey there
little girl, do you want to go for a ride?"

"NO!" says the little girl as she keeps on walking.

The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks, "Hey little
girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back."
"NO!" says the little girl as she hurries down the street..

The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says,
“Okay kid, my last offer!

I'll give you 20 Bucks and a big bag of candy if you will just hop on
the back of my bike and we go for a ride."

Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and screams
out..............

"LOOK DAD. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO BOUGHT THE HONDA INSTEAD OF THE
HARLEY, YOU RIDE IT!"

Bob and Larry were fishing one day near a bridge. As funeral procession neared the bridge Bob stood up in the boat and removed hat. As the hearse crossed the bridge, Bob bowed his head and tear came to his eye. After it passed he sat back down in the boat and resumed fishing. Larry said "Bob, I've never seen you get that emotional about a passing funeral". Bob replied "What do expect? I was married to her for over 20 years".

One day a boy's father walks into his room sits down on the bed and says "ok son today I want to have the father son coversation with you." the boy says "dad is this really necessary?" and the father interups and says "son it is perfectly normal to masterbate everynow and then." the boys gets up and starts to walk away and his face turns blank and embarassed. the father then says"now it is human nature to pet the one eyed snake every now and then just dont do it to much or you will go blind". The boy replies "dad I'm over here."

Know why it's good to date a homeless girl?????????






the next morning you can drop her off anywhere.

LMAO...This wouldn't be experience talking here would it??? :?: :lol: :?:

I was usually the one that got dropped off. :oops:

President Obama