Racingjunk Forums - Patents and Wal-Mart

I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions.

I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out.

She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.

I said, "A folding bottle."

She said, "Okay. What do you call it?"

"A Fottle."

"What else do you have?"

"A folding carton."

"And what do you call that?"

"A Farton."

She laughed and said, "Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds a bit crude."

I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket.

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DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO.......... .

This is why WE should not take our men shopping against their will.

Dylls Czacc insisted her boyfriend Brad Tayylor accompany her on their trips to Wal-Mart.

Unfortunately, Mr. Tayylor was like most men--he found shopping boring & preferred to get in & get out.

Equally unfortunately, Ms. Czacc, loved to browse. One day Mr Czacc received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Ms. Czacc,

Over the past six months, your boyfriend has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior any longer and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department & told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera & used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least ...

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Regards,
Wal-Mart