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-   -   A Fart Story (https://www.racingjunk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=23013)

nofear57 02-04-2009 12:53 PM

A Fart Story
 
Ok....mid off season....sitting back,lounging,feet up remote in hand and getting fat...thinking about the race season coming up and sipping my favorite beverage and.....rrrrippppp......."Ahh boy that felt good"....but the wife said....you....(well it wasn't nice) :lol:
That reminded me of an e-mail that went around


A fart it is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.
A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud
A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song....
A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent , and deadly.
A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.
But that farts are all bad,Is simply not true-
We must never forget....
Old farts,like you!

signsbyesa 02-04-2009 03:19 PM

nofear, i love it, love it, love it, i like the ones that sing a song,
or when in a crowed room the ones that break the ice and linger
for a while to make sure all know a fart was blown, ha ha ha
tooooot toooooot sing a song :lol: :D :wink:
are when someone ask your opinion on something, blow one :wink:

Scooterz 02-04-2009 03:37 PM

Nofear: that poem was a beautiful thing... I can appreciate a guy who settles down in his favorite chair & lets out a good ol' ripper... even around the family... and has a sence of pride only a man can understand.

I like to describe farts like motors... some are hot & lumpy; choppy in fact... having a measurement of duration too... like a cam. A good blow out is like having healthy compression... do you rate compression ratios for you farts too?? Some are like a 2 strokes... "small & zippy" like a YZ80. Some however with good compression are like the difference between a BB or SB... or a thumper 4 stroke fart. The pungent oder can also be realted to "rich" or "lean" or pump gas or race fuel... I could go on & on. Anyways, thanks for sharing one of my favorite past times brutha. Scooter

outlaw256 02-06-2009 03:25 AM

i was in a kroger checkout line standing in front of my cart when i felt the urge, i let go with a silent but lethal one when i was sure everyone ther got the powerful aroma, i lyelled out "damn debbie couldnt you wait" AND WALKED OUTSIDE TO SMOKE. my wife was standing behind the cart and she had to stay in line. by the way my wifes name is debbie.

signsbyesa 02-06-2009 08:56 AM

good recovery outlaw, next time have her pull your finger
my grand kids always fall for that one, my grandson told his teacher
that he can make me fart by pulling my finger every time, when
i picked him up at school his friends wanted to pull my finger ha ha ha :D

TheYellaBrick 02-06-2009 02:49 PM

"Clear on the right....clear on the left...the farting line is clear...FART AT WILL "

THERATTLER 02-16-2009 08:41 AM

My wife does that to me , she drops one and looks at me and walks off, I just fan my ass :lol: :lol:

signsbyesa 02-19-2009 07:11 PM

~~~~~~~~~awwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, thats my fart story
and im sticking to it :wink: pooooooooooot


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