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Thread: PLEASE tell me this won't happen to us.....

  1. #1
    Senior Member RACING JUNKIE
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    kingsport tn
    Posts
    1,735

    PLEASE tell me this won't happen to us.....

    PLEASE tell me this won't happen to us.....

    An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her
    car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her
    situation to the dispatcher: 'They've
    stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the
    accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm. An officer
    is on the way.' A few minutes later, the officer radios in
    'Disregard.' He says. 'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'

    TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!
    __________________________________________________ ______________________

    Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night
    the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She
    yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The
    94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' She
    starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down?'
    The 92-year-old was sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening
    to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get
    that forgetful, knock on wood...' She then yells, 'I'll come up and
    help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.'

    TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
    __________________________________________________ ______________________

    'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!' Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were
    playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy,
    isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday..' And the
    third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.'

    TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
    __________________________________________________ _____________________

    A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home
    As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say
    'Supersex...' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair.
    Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a
    moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'

    TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
    __________________________________________________ __________________

    Now this one is just too Precious...LOL! Two elderly ladies had been
    friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of
    activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited
    to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were
    playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get
    mad at me .... I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just
    can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't
    remember it. Please tell me what your name is..'
    Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she just stared
    and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'

    TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
    __________________________________________________ ___________________

    SENIOR DRIVING:
    As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang.
    Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I
    just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on
    Interstate 77. Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just
    one car.. It's hundreds of them!'

    TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
    __________________________________________________ _______________
    And this one is just too scary!!! DRIVING Two elderly women were out
    driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As
    they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight
    was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger
    seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we
    just went through a red light.'

    After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the
    light was red. Again, they went right through. The woman in the
    passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was
    really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.

    At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went
    on through. So she turned to the other woman and said, 'Mildred, did
    you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could
    have killed us both!'

    Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'

    TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
    CRIMEDOG
    Sam Wood

  2. #2
    Senior Member RACING JUNKIE
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    falkville al
    Posts
    1,766
    thanks man, those were funny and true.lol

  3. #3
    Senior Member RACING JUNKIE THERATTLER's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    MANIAC , MISSISSIPPI
    Posts
    1,469
    Am I fixing to read this or did I just finish reading this?????
    ***IN GOD WE TRUST***GOD BLESS AMERICA******

  4. #4
    Senior Member RACING JUNKIE
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    ohio
    Posts
    810
    :lol: :lol: :lol:

  5. #5
    Senior Member RACING JUNKIE
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    ohio
    Posts
    810
    Now, what was i looking for :?: :?: :?:


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