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Thread: Joke

  1. #1
    Senior Member EXPERT BUILDER
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    Joke

    A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he
    pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. 'Amazing,' he thought as he flew
    down the interstate, pushing the pedal even more. But looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, blue
    and red lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What
    am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper
    walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, 'Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes, plus today is Friday. If you
    can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go. 'The old gentleman paused then said,
    'Three years ago, my wife ran off with a State-Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.' 'Have a good
    day, Sir,' replied the trooper.
    If a 5 lb hammer can't fix it,it must be electrical
    Keep the shiney side up! 8)
    http://www.racingjunk.com/profile/85221

  2. #2
    lmao...now thats a good one

  3. #3
    Senior Member EXPERT BUILDER
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    :lol: He must have married my ex!!

  4. #4

  5. #5
    Senior Member RACING JUNKIE
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    I like that dude... quick thinker.
    "I would walk through hell on Sunday before I fear the enemy"

  6. #6
    Senior Member EXPERT BUILDER
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    A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, 'Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?'
    The operator said, 'I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?'
    The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, 'Norma Findlay, Room 302.'
    The operator replied, 'Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse.'
    After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, 'Oh, have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal, and her
    physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday.'
    The grandmother said, 'Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news.'
    The operator replied, 'You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?'
    The grandmother said, 'No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me shit.'

    A True Story!
    If a 5 lb hammer can't fix it,it must be electrical
    Keep the shiney side up! 8)
    http://www.racingjunk.com/profile/85221

  7. #7
    Senior Member RACING JUNKIE
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    coffee in my nose funny. i love the hospital story!!!!!!

  8. #8
    Senior Member RACING JUNKIE
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    :lol: :lol: :lol:

  9. #9
    Senior Member RACING JUNKIE TheYellaBrick's Avatar
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    6th Grade. science question:


    Mrs. Parks, asked her class, 'Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?'
    No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, 'You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that!
    I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the Principal, who will then fire you!'
    Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, 'Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?'
    Little Mary's mouth fell open.
    Then she said to those around her, 'Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!'
    The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, 'Anybody?'
    Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, 'The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.'
    Mrs. Parks said, 'Very good, Billy,' then turned to Mary and continued...
    'As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:
    One, you have a dirty mind.
    Two, you didn't read your homework.
    And three, one day you are going to be very, VERY disappointed.'
    TRUTH is HATE
    to those who
    HATE TRUTH

    God Bless our folks in uniform
    "We the People, have your backs"
    http://www.racingjunk.com/profile/279898


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