Racingjunk Forums - For those of us who have been told we don't know Jack Schitt

We now do

Zip.

For some time, many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack

Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond

in an intelligent way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the

fertilizer magnate who married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N.

Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious

couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla

Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a

high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe

Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living

with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known

as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son

with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the

other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable

throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers

in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper

announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children

were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He

recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa

Schitt.

Now, when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can

correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt