Bouncing Baby Boy
 

There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him.

Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong. The head nurse replied, ''We don't know what to do with this baby.''

So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution."

''Why?' asked the head nurse.

"Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts."

I used to date a midget, I was nuts over her.

A pirate walks into a bar. He has the steering wheel attached to his fly.
When the bartender asks him about it, He replies...

Aarrrr it be driving me nuts.