Racingjunk Forums - "Hilldale Help Center Thread"

My fellow friends & Racing Comrads:

Welcome to the Hilldale Help Center Thread where your valued support & attention can be utilized for our troubled youth. I created this thread so that we all may be able to give constructive feeback to the "challenged" folks out there such as Hilldale. Hopefully with your valued support, people like Hilldale can get the help they need with issues such as:

1. Being Gay/Bi/Green/Vegitarian & not feeling accepted. Hilldale can enjoy our feed back about giving support/aid. This may lead to Hilldale's abstinance of the various gay porn sites he belongs to. It's ok that you are GAY Hilldale... we are here to provide the most modern support & interactive programs by leaders accross the country such as Oprah, Jesse Jackson & Michael Jackson.

2. Medication help for Hilldale... let's face it, Hilldale may need several medications to stop his spiraling behavior. It is not easy being "special" or "challenged", Obessive/complusive, Gay/Bi-sexual, and so on. Here at the Hilldale Help Center we can give you reccomendations of how to treat people like Hilldale... with the right medications. My advice is steady dose of RAT-POISON & Vodka laced with some kind of strong opiate like Herion (this should be done interveinously). Anyways, the staff here can provide more ideas too.

3. Friendly & daily feedback from the Hilldlale support staff... day or night (unless we are busy w/ more important things... like watching TV). Yes Hilldale, we are here for you!!! We will make you the center of attention 7 days a week forever... you will never be alone. We can teach you edquate, respect, how to not be annoying, not flirt with men, how to cope w/ yourself & the list goes on & on!! Just think Hilldale- with our help you might get laid by the time your 60... and it will not be the vunerable sheep you are used to!!

4. Preventative Behavior Relapsing (RBR): Here at the Hilldale Help Center we encorage a good solid ass-beating to help Hilldale type folks remember to keep up the hard work they put in. A relapse may occur... you may insult they wrong guy... but do not fear Hilldale, there are plenty of staff members here to BEAT you back into the right path. Weather it is here or at the track, you will be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life! Accountability is the key & I promise you will feel better than a red-headed step-child who is in Foster Care. If you are ever close to Oregon, let us know... I will introduce you to some not-so patient loggers that would love to meet you. :D

5. Aftercare: Hilldale, we will provide you with a long lasting relationship until you COMPLETELY GIVE UP. Until that day, let us help you with the insults you truley deserve. After that, we will make sure "the door hits you in the ass" on your way out.

6. Last: Spelling & Grammar/Punctuation combined with reading skills & listening skills. Each staff member is commited & willing to point out your stupid grammar errors in the meaningless, babbling posts you make. We will try our best to point out that you write like a 6yr old @ a 1st grade level. Slowly, we will show you how to get you to a 2nd grade level... so you can show the world that you did not even need "hooked on phonics"

Yes Hilldale.... you can have all of this here at the Hilldale Help Center. I encorage our friendly & understanding staff to add some "help" ideas here on this specific thread just for your sorry ass. Please feel free to stop by anytime so you can see that we truley care. You will get some great ideas of how to really loose in the big game of life.